Typically I write essays here as part of my blog but, for a change, I have decided to share the inner dialogue regarding my current project with you. So, welcome to my world where, unlike taking that pesky red pill from “The Matrix”, you can escape very easily and with absolutely no help from miraculous, sci-fi pharmaceutical concoctions.
Me: Where is this story going?
Me: That’s not what I meant! Wait a minute, France? Really?
Me: When will that happen?
Me2: Timeline is still unclear, my child.
Me: Why are you talking to me like you’re a priest? I’m not even Catholic!
Me2: Try back later.
Me: Wait a minute! Are you using an 8-ball over there?
Me: Uh, hello?!
Me2: Sorry, must have dozed for a moment. So, my child- you were asking questions about your book?
Me: Could you please stop calling me “my child”- it’s creeping me out.
Me2: I will do what I can, my-…. I will do what I can.
Me: Good. Now, do you at least know why the story will take place in France?
Me2: Yes. But only part of it will be.
Me: What part?
Me2: I can not reveal such tender and vital information at this time.
Me: Ooookay, can you tell me if the protagonist will travel there with someone?
Me2: I have no idea.
Me: Will there be a love story?
Me2: I don’t know.
Me: *pulling hair* What about the first work?
Me2: What about it?
Me: Shouldn’t I stick with writing something similar in scope regarding love interests to maintain my audience?
Me2: Hell if I know.
Me: Well, who should be the character that plays opposite the protagonist?
Me2: No clue.
Me: *yelling* What exactly do you know?
Me2: I know that you really want to eat those cinnamon bun cookies you made the other day..
Me: Besides that!
Me: Okay, you’re fired!
Me2: You know that is not something even remotely in the realm of the possible.
Me: Boy do I resent you right now.
Me2: Understood, but if you do in fact resent me don’t you think you should see someone? That is not a particularly healthy attitude to have regarding one’s self.
Me2: It’s rather pointless to be angry with yourself for being right.
Me: *sigh* Let’s change the subject oh, Sage One. Is there anything useful you can tell me about this project?
Me2: Well, I can say you do no service to the story if you force elements into it that shouldn’t be there. Having said that- if a love story is not where it’s naturally inclined to go then don’t shove it in there in a way that would be reminiscent of walking around in stilettos that are one full size too small. If it does seem like the protagonist gets his *stuff* together well enough to have such a relationship without going all psycho/stalker then why the hell not?
Me2: Another word of advice?
Me2: Stop having imaginary conversations with yourself and work on your damn story.
Me: *quietly grumbles* For someone who seems to know so little you certainly are bossy.
Me2: What was that?
Me2: I heard that!
Me: *sticks tongue out and runs away* (no small fete)