Lots of Contemplations

The last couple of months (yikes!) have found me in a very contemplative and negative space.  It hasn’t been enough to read about the unhindered and justified hatred running rampant or the devastation wrecked by Mother Nature, but on top of all that I wandered into an emotional space the likes of which I hadn’t experienced in years.  Now, quite obviously, hormones are very possibly contributing to some of these feelings, but it would be disingenuous for me to blow them off simply as pregnancy related mishigas.  [There’s also been the issue of a little one who has been catching everything under the sun thanks to being anemic.]

Because I am hormonal I decided to take some time and simply allow myself to truly think about all these goings on before heading to the internet to write some kind of massively vitriolic or weepy post.  [Luckily, hormonal for me does not mean oblivious.  Usually.]  This led me to the quandary about what to do with the things I like writing about.  Surely politics and philosophy come into play here and, I’m sad to say, these tie in with pursuing home birth as well, but so does writing in general and the things I’ve been reading.  Separate blogs have been contemplated, but I’m unsure as to how on Earth I would manage THAT when I’ve obviously been falling behind on only having the one!  So, what I’ve decided is to work with this blog for all of it and see if I might be able to work out a schedule and a layout that would allow for easy perusing.  I do not have a schedule ready yet, so please don’t ask me.  I’ll dedicate myself to figuring that out this week, though.

In the mean time I am going to do my best to get back to blogging regularly (I know I’ve said that before) and in that includes zipping around to all the blog buddies who I’ve been missing. It’s very scary, but I haven’t checked the email attached to my blog in MONTHS and this will be one of the first *gulp* things I tackle.  Over time.  Probably.  Forgive me.  Puhleeeeaaaasssse…


10 responses to “Lots of Contemplations

  • Marilisa Turner

    I am glad you are doing your writings again Kim.

  • Teresa

    I have missed youuuuuu! Don’t stay away so long next time. But…stay away when you need…time away.

    How exciting for you, a new life. He/she will be here before you know it.

    • kimberlyloomis

      I’ve missed checking in at your place, too! Juggling, it would seem, gets more and more difficult.

      Thank you. 🙂 I’m already freaking out about how soon the time of arrival is. Three months… Oye!

  • Bethany

    Pregnancy (and menses, for that matter) is no. joke. We get used to the downplaying of it (and I have been guilty of this because I hate excuses) but it is literally your body not only creating another body but preparing for what would amount to major surgery if your body wasn’t the one initiating it! And that’s my take-care-of-yourself-first! rant. 😀

    Also hugs to the little one with anemia. I know it’s no fun, especially as a kid. It’s still no fun and I’m supposedly an adult.

    • kimberlyloomis

      Thanks, Bethany! I totally relate to that issue of no excuses. Hard to have compassion for the self when allowances for natural processes (and reactions to them) aren’t made. I’ll do my best!

      Ugh, dealing with that as an adult I would imagine could be so frustrating. Hugs to you. I hope it doesn’t impact overmuch. 🙂 [My son’s on iron supplements so we’ll see how it pans out at the next visit.]

  • laurelrainsnow

    I know what it’s like to be in those vastly wrenching emotional spaces…and I think that I blog obsessively to ward off those feelings! A major defense mechanism, anybody?

    At least you recognize and acknowledge your emotions…I’m not sure about “moi.”

    Glad to see you’ve come out of the tunnel.

    • kimberlyloomis

      Haha! Well, being aware of your defense mechanism is a good thing, right? 😉

      I’m too absolute to let myself off easily. There have been a few moments during this pregnancy where I honestly thought, “I can’t believe I’m arguing like this with my husband over THAT?!” Whoops.

      Thanks. I’m glad to be back!

  • shari

    It’s good form to acknowledge there are times our bodies get the best of us! Not ‘getting us off the hook’, but reminding us that biology doesn’t mean we are bad, but that we are alive!

    Great quote from Neko Case (paraphrased wretchedly here)”PMS is treated like a disorder, but in the animal world – you’re in heat.” Animals go Off on each other all the time when they are ‘premenstrual’ and we accept it as part of life. Being touchy (and aware we are!) is the first step towards taking care of ourselves, because the consequences of snapping at people (hurt feelings, resentment)are still going to lay around making us feel worse!

    I think pregnancy is plenty hard on your body (loved my first one, struggled with the second) so taking a break from normal duties seems like a pretty sane response. All the same, glad you are back!

  • Bonnie

    It’s nice to see you back! And congrats on the “belly dweller” :), I’m so excited for you and your family! It’s awesome that you are still finding time to do your writing, I know how hectic life gets with little ones under your feet. Hang in there, and make sure to find some time for yourself.

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