Slowly but surely I’ve been working on my wip. You know, the one where all is dark and dreary with the world and people have submitted to tyranny? Yeah, that one. Then I hit a holding pattern. AGAIN. This isn’t for lack of direction exactly, but more that I’m fighting my inner demons. You see, I want to kill someone. Perhaps it would be more fair for me to say I want to torture THEN kill them, but the truth is I really, really, really want to do this. The problem? The person is in my reality and has not been made into a character as yet. Of course, he’d also be made a character solely for the purpose of being wretchedly treated before his oh-so-painful demise (and it would be painful – make no mistake) and that means I’m not writing the bit for the story.
The other problem being that the only way I can get him tortured would be for him to be a good guy and that sooooo doesn’t even work for said catharsis. Feh.
My agenda is not the same as the story’s and right now that’s kind of a bummer. This individual quite conceivably doesn’t warrant the kind of treatment I would like to imagine befalling him (goes against my principles anyway), but being as infuriated as I have been by people who can’t do what they’re supposed to demands the violent fantasy. Not that I’m righteous or anything… *crickets* And there I sit at my computer, dreaming up a horrific and beatific sequence of sadism, unable to write it because I KNOW it just doesn’t fit in with the story.
Trying to move on and let go of this wondrous idea has been hard and led me to having my fingers tied up in knots instead of typing. Have you ever wanted to put something in a story so badly you could taste it but didn’t dare write it because you knew it just didn’t fit and you’d totally be a bad writer if you forced it in there or just wasted your time with it? Aside from digging out my punching bag (which would be no small fete given the state of my basement) – are there any thoughts on a coping mechanism? FYI: I’ve already tried chocolate. There isn’t enough in my house or the local grocery store to take care of this particular problem.
Shameless plug: My other blog, The Elephant in the Womb, was updated again! Woohoo! It will look prettier next week.